Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.  In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6


Well, here we go...

I am nervous to actually write my thoughts on this little blog. The main reason is that I do not think that I am a very good writer/ have anything interesting to say. I guess that is really 2 reasons... sorry.  Today is a new day though because I am overwhelmed, tired, confused, and broken.  I haven't felt this way in a long, long time. I know that it is a combination of April senior year, campaign season and just life in general.  So yesterday, I made a bold decision... I decided to step back, de-complicate my life, and REST.  I am not talking about just sleeping, I am resting in the Lord.  I am finding answers and I am listening.  I have not just listened in  a long time.  I would describe myself as a 'go getter', I like to stay busy/involved/overcommitted.  I am not good at sitting still.  Example in point, if anyone in my house needs a companion for any sort of activity, they ask me. They know I will go with them 98% of the time.  I love my friends, I love to be busy.  I do not love to be still.  

I have quote on quote been still for about 24 hours, I am going a little crazy.  I am continually praying for this process to last.  I am searching for purpose, answers, and mainly TRUTH.  I have finally faced the reality that I am not God.  I do not get to choose my path, I do not get to choose the people that come in and out of my life.  I do not get to choose who to be friends with and who to love.  I am not God.  Luckily, I do believe.  I have found immense comfort in this fact.  I know that I will be okay.  The lies that I have been telling myself will unfold and truth will in the end reveal itself.  I know that I was not happy.  When you are happy, things should be natural and easy.  They should not be forced, you should be content and comforted.  I was always on edge, nervous and even borderline crazy.  I was not gentle or calm.  I was paranoid... which led to being moody and lower than low a lot of the time.  

I cannot give anymore.  I need refreshing and rejuvenation.  I need to analyze and find my purpose.  I am a listener, comforter, and encourager by nature... I now know that I cannot always be those things.  I cannot fix the world's problems.  I can not bear others burdens.  I need a listener as well.  I need an encourager.  I know where to begin.  Today, I just sat and sat as I tried to figure out where to begin...

I found myself in 1 John 4:7-11

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

[and this just made me smile today.]

Monday, March 30, 2009

spring break!

I got to spend SPRING BREAK 2K9 with the majority of my best friends. I loved every minute. We read, shopped, and spent a lot of time in the sun... and in the car.  I love these girls. I cannot believe it was our last florida trip...  oh how things have changed in four years.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

its that time again...

student body president elections have officially kicked off...
i try to tell myself that i am not involved. 
that i am a senior.
that i have better things to do.
that i dont really want to be on main campus.


Wednesday, March 11, 2009


this week has definitely been one for the record books...
it started out with a 'case of the mondays' that involved losing an hour of sleep, losing my keys, getting locked out of my house, misunderstanding TWO projects, an awkward lunch and tears [in front of my 400 level mktg class.]  i dont normally feel the need to vent about life to the online world but it is currently distracting me from school.  

not to mention the fact that my cute little neighborhood has been invaded.  it is a sea of orange plastic fencing, dust, dirt, and inappropriate construction workers.  daily i wonder which street will actually get me home. it is a maze and 304 ayrshire is pretty much over it. 

venting aside. 2 days! 

spring break 2k9. the last one. the memorable one.
[because i can assure you, i will never teach. i am leaving that to crawf & katie b & mindy...]

Sunday, March 8, 2009

the beach.

...5 days.
25 girls.
hello spring break 2k9 memories.

we start driving on friday!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


[our relationship in a nutshell]

a little shout out.
stacy claire [lifelong bff & loyal red raider]
got a JOB today.

watch out dallas, texas...

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


this is a tribute to my cruiser.
i wish someone wouldn't have stolen it...

Monday, March 2, 2009

recent thoughts.

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. 

2 Timothy 4:2
Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct,
rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.

Proverbs 31:26
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

Paul expresses his anger towards the Corinthians for their laziness in their pursuit of God. I feel as though this is applies perfectly to my daily life...

1 Corinthians 3:1-3
Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?

its monday...

lets celebrate! here's to...
TEXAS Independence Day.
Bachelor Finale
& springtime shenanigans.
** and i saw Bush '41 and Barbara today. 
[how fitting... right?]

Sunday, March 1, 2009

lubbock or leave it.

hello west texas...
where did all the trees go?
it was the start to a great weekend.  
a weekend filled with a lot of michele and stacy time... 
and margaritas [and wind]. 

more pics to come later. 

happy first day of march!