Saturday, July 18, 2009

new york, on my mind.

new york city {summer 08}

It has honestly been a very long time since I have felt drawn to New York City. Last summer while there I experienced a multitude of emotions from happiness, excitement, adventure, loneliness, fear, hope, love and independence. I learned far more than I could have imagined in those quick 2 and a half months. I was suddenly emerged in a culture that was completely foreign to me. And I saw life in a different way. When I returned back to Texas, I was determined that I would be returning to live this upcoming fall. I had even convinced Katie to come with me (or I was trying!) And as the semester progressed and spring came, followed by summer I had decided that I would stay in Texas. And I know that I will at least be here through December. Whoop for graduation.

But lately, things have been changing in my heart and I am not fully confident that New York is completely out of my system. My reasons for staying in Texas seem silly and childish, and not prayerfully decided upon. I have this new found desire to go there again...
to be changed for the better.
to see God in ways that he is not seen here.
to be challenged and strengthened.
to become more like Him.
to not settle because I am scared...

These thoughts are all very new to me. I am exploring them and trying to figure out their meaning. My parents have been completely supportive of my "exploration" and are even flying me back to nyc for five days in a few weeks to spend more time there. So, these are my recent feelings... I am confused but confident all at the same time. I am not scared but very at peace.

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